Kindness From a Stranger

It’s the season for random acts of kindness, and this month I have a small, but beautiful experience to share with you that happened to me a couple of weeks ago.

Last month I practically lived at Starbucks in order to complete my writing goals. Sometimes with friends, and sometimes alone, I always try to sit by the window. The view, no matter how abysmal, always gives my gaze and mind freedom to explore something larger than the room I’m sitting in.

One November evening, I was sitting alongside the window by myself when the sun was setting, the clouds a brilliant orange, a unique beauty to be had for where I live. As much as I complain about my geography, there have been quite a few show stopping sunsets to behold. I’m naturally someone who gets energy from the sun, so when it goes down, I’m immediately tired. Likewise, when it comes up, I find it hard to sleep, as if caffeine could be transferable through light and the moment it beams into the room, I’m suddenly lighter, energized, and happy. So I tried to get work done, but in this few passing moments where the setting sun was changing in such divine ways, I made sure to look up every few minutes to integrate with this beauty. One never knows when the sun will come out again here at this time of year. I looked straight at it, imagining the light passing through my skin and becoming a part of me, a keeper of the light.

It turned out that someone noticed my attempt to become one with the sunset. Shortly after the sun went down, I packed up and headed out the door. Someone politely stopped me from behind when I got outside.

“Excuse me, this is very awkward for me, but I just wanted to give you this.” said a middle aged man with a foreign accent that I couldn’t identify. He handed me a folded up napkin. Confused and curious, I said some surprised and enthusiastic exclamation of “okay” and went to my car to read it. Here is what it said:

   My favorite thing about this is that this person did not leave their number. They wanted no involvement, nothing to gain from the interaction. They simply had the pure intention of recognizing the beauty in another person and wanting to make sure they knew that. As someone with little faith in humanity, this touched my heart on such a deep level, and for the first time in a long time, I had some hope for the kind of people that are out there. I felt like there must be people who see each other for more than just objects, and more than what they want them to be for their own interests. There are truly those who are able to recognize a genuine moment, or characteristic in a person, and leave it at that appreciation.

   But the thing is, this experience did not end there. Shortly after that, I found myself back at the same Starbucks where the tables had turned, and I felt compelled to do something kind for someone else. It was night this time, and a boy and his mother sat at the table across from me. I’m usually very caught up in my work, but something about this boy’s stature and expression screamed at me. With no life in his face, he looked out the window as his mom spoke at him, occasionally getting caught up in whatever he had on his lap top. I felt like no part of him wanted to be there, and I wondered how this could be, until someone else joined them and I realized what was happening. They were there to meet with someone who could help him apply to colleges. Instantly I understood this boy’s dread, and went back to my work with the case solved. Some time afterward, I heard the guest get a bit louder and frantic in his speech, so I looked up. The poor boy was crying, and in his eyes I saw myself. It was a person who had completely lost hope. He did not believe that his efforts were good enough, whether they were or not, who knows, but in this day and age when immense pressure is put on youth to get high scores and do every extracurricular activity known to youth, it can be unbearable. I had the same feeling, the same reality, both in high school and into college. I started to hear more of what this guest was saying.

“You have a score of _____… What this college wants is ____…I’ve known people with ______ get into _______… I think you have a great chance with _____… You do sports, you do everything. That’s going to make you more sellable… Do you do varsity? Mention _____ and it will be a great essay… What’s a good attribute to describe yourself? Like, would you say that you’re the life of the party? People always say they’re going to get good grades but what are you going to offer to the university?”

I was ready to vomit just listening to this. Since when did people become numbers and a sales pitch? Immediately, I ripped out a piece of paper from my sketch book and started writing.

   In my note to him, I was quite frank. I made it very honest, and made it clear that it was from a perspective that had been through it all. I gave it a sense that although this feels like the end of the world, it is all a lot of hype and unnecessary stress (I believe I specifically chose the word ‘bullshit’ as my adjective. It has been my favorite adjective as of late). I told him that future me would want my past self to know that my dreams are valid and worthwhile, but that they’re going to change. They are not fixed. That’s a part of life. So if everything is constantly changing anyway, there’s no use in having so much turmoil over what will or will not be. I told him that he was not a number, or a sellable commodity, that he had something to offer no matter what the school boards wanted. I told him that life was short, and to be truly fulfilled is to find what your authentic self has to offer, and provide that. I told him that in the end it was all going to work out, which is needed to be heard after putting so much hard work and stress into something of this magnitude. Although it was incredibly awkward, like it was for that guy who saw my face looking into the sun, the kindness that I was given gave me the courage to stop him on the way out the door and give him my note.

You never know what people are going through. You never know what is happening in a person’s life, or inner world. This is why kindness, and most of all speaking up when no one else will, is so important. I don’t have to go into rates of suicide or how stressful modern day life can be. Anyone reading this will know and can relate in their own way. So please, if you see someone struggling, do something small for that person. If you notice something beautiful in a stranger, compliment them, or simply tell them what you see. It’s the time of the year when everyone needs it, and when the spirit of the holidays makes it viable.

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Kerry Jane

If you like my work and would like to see my creative projects come to fruition, please support me on Patreon.

The Concept of Iridescence

People often ask me where the name of my website “iridescent souls” comes from. It is not something that I chose simply because I like the way it sounded or for the unique ring it has. It is actually an intrinsic part of Metanoia, the novel I have been writing.

Something drew me to the concept of iridescence long before I began writing Metanoia in 2013. For reasons unknown, I found the word strolling through my mind without cause. I suppose some writers have a fondness for certain words as a result of their love for the craft, but this didn’t provide a full explanation for me. I felt close to it. Something about it resonated with an unseeable chord. Perhaps it was because I thought it was beautiful, or intriguing, or maybe both. Recently, I had tried to put it into words in the journal I use for novel/blog synthesis:

“It’s this scattered, multifaceted energy that I experience in moments of clarity (ironically). One day I feel as though I could collaborate with graphic artists to make some of my ideas for illustrations and music videos a reality. Another day, something at school inspires me, and I want to apply for a grant to investigate environmentally friendly bottom paint for boats. Another day I am daydreaming about Metanoia, or numerology, or quantum physics and the holographic universe. But as I go from one moment to the next, it is not just the thoughts that shift and flicker, but also a state of being that transitions. Its almost as if I tapped into some sort of frequency that has several different hats, all of which lead to a creation. Each phase resonates a different wavelength, but comes from the same source, like a rock that is fragmented and cleaved to sparkle with several different colors, depending on how you look at it.”

 

Is this a personality disorder, or a symptom of the path I’ve taken in 2013, which is open to a limitless potential, pursuing the goal of a personal ascension?

When the story came to me in a huge rush from beginning to end, with the intricate overlying concept weaved through it all, iridescence found a place in the scheme. In Metanoia, iridescence has its own unique place in a  categorical system of souls. It is described as the medium that exists between two worlds: that of the angelic realm, and what I call the ‘soul collective’, which includes nearly everyone. This space is an area where the soul has no specific role, and sort of drifts through existence in an uncharacterized way. When the soul incarnates, they can’t help but find themselves outside of the norm, either by choice or physical circumstance. They float around in this in-between reality in which theres no true label to cling to, or no one designation to belong in. They simply be. As a result of this, their perspective exceeds that of the interpersonal, day-to-day existence. They’re pushed into a standpoint that encompasses the bigger picture, becoming a bystander that watches from the outside, and experiences a completely different truth as a result. It is no better or worse really, just different.

I suppose this creation of mine is a projection of how I understand the concept of iridescence. Its a word that doesn’t get a lot of attention despite its potential to invoke interesting imagery and feelings.

This all may sound confusing to some of you out there. I still feel as though there is a part to all of this that is uncommunicable. However, I did the best I could. Perhaps one day I’ll be able to pin it down more into something easier to understand.

As always, thank you for reading and joining me through all of this. If this was interesting to you, or you have something you’d like to share, don’t refrain from doing so. I wish everyone a lovely week, and don’t forget to embrace your own unique iridescence.

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