Today is the day I turn 21.

Society has me confused about this day, sending me mixed messages about whether it is a cause of celebration, or a cause to assess how I am doing in life.

At this time, it appears to be neither case, and rather a slight retreat from both.

While on exchange in California, I am free of the pressure to celebrate for the sake of friends and family, as well as from the worry about looking like I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing.

Liberation from these circumstances creates a unique medium to move about my life, one that I’ve never experienced before, and of one that I’m reaping the full benefits.

This page remained blank for several days after creating it. Upon coming home for the holidays for my winter break, it is almost as if the crowded suburbs of Long Island congested my thoughts, and the bitter cold closed myself off to more than just the weather.

Realization of my purpose and how to present it seemed to require a mental/emotional organization that I could not attain during my visit to New York. Through this, I have discovered a paradox: that leaving the east coast for a year (not nearly long enough) feels like getting away from me to get back to me, and I believe there are many out there who can relate to this feeling.

Grateful for the new friends I have been blessed with on this 21^st Birthday, I can honestly say that if there is anything to celebrate, it is for what is to come, and my own becoming.

I hope anyone reading this is able to find their bliss, or if you’re like me, to be reunited with it.