The Human Condition Is a Disability

The human condition is a disability, but this wasn’t always the case.

I was a very strange child. Although it doesn’t make much sense, I vividly remember not liking kids when I myself was one. I felt removed from my peers, as if I was a spectator that didn’t have a role. My first impression of children my age left such an impact on me that I still remember it to this day, as it would shape my perspective of society into adulthood.

I was three years old and it was my first day of preschool. My first thought of being placed amongst a band of other three year olds was utter disgust. Well, a level of disgust that a 3 year old was capable of at least. What horrified me was their inherent unconsciousness, their inability to comprehend that there was a whole world of other people equally important to themselves, a world that had limitations and a world that they needed to share. Every whiney child believed that their snack time was more important than everyone else’s snack time, and that the adults should bow down to their every beck and call. They had no conception of how the adults were working hard for us, and that this took time and energy. They had no idea that their needs might have to be temporarily displaced in the wake of a teachers’ many tasks. But I somehow understood this at the ripe age of three. In fact, I often put others needs before my own. I remember going without something because I didn’t want to ask an adult to do it for me. I would have rather sat and dealt with not being able to reach the cup on the shelf, or the snack in the cabinet, because I didn’t want to impede on my family’s busy life.

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A picture my sister took of me when I was about 4 years old 

Like I said, I was a strange child.

This feeling continued well into elementary school and middle school. I spent my entire childhood desperately wanting to become an adult because I honestly thought that this was a trait that kids grew out of. I wanted to be amidst peers who understood the importance of cooperation, who didn’t think their food, water, shelter, and overall comfort was all that mattered, was more important than my own or the person next to them. As many of you could accurately predict, I grew up only to be disappointed. Now 22, I see no difference between humans at 3 and humans at 45. If anything, the only thing that has happened is people grew out of their valuable innocence and into their immaturity. They are unable to come to a fundamental understanding that we are all connected, that “I am another you” as I’ve written about already. There’s no comprehension that when you hurt your surroundings, you are hurting yourself because the thing you’ve externalized is a part of you on space ship Earth, whether it is apparent or not.

Yes, many self-centered people come about because a parent did not practice boundaries and discipline with their kids. But why is there a need to teach this quality out of a person in the first place? Why are so many humans inherently self-serving to various degrees?

For thousands of years, we’ve built humanity on a system where the extent of success is determined on a person’s ability to step on the throat of their neighbor in order to get ahead. It’s well documented that we’ve built humanity on competition rather than cooperation, and I suspect that this behavior is now tightly woven into the fabric of our DNA. It is in this way that the escape from the hole we’ve dug for ourselves is likened to a rope we’ve weaved and now have to unravel. In this case, the rope is our strands of DNA that are now in serious need of a makeover.

Although I’ve made everything sound very dismal, I do believe there is much hope and that this is not how humans were meant to be. The mere fact that I’m able to sit here and write this is a good sign. In my opinion, the selfishness is largely unintentional, where humans do not know the extent of the impact they have. If it is a behavior learned and adapted over time, it can be unlearned and discarded as well. DNA works like a lock and key system, and once the choice is made to adapt to a changing world, or an evolving consciousness rather, it sets up for the right adjustments to take place.

It is a good sign that I’m able to be here writing this, but an even better sign would be to have readers that can relate to these words. It would be the growth of this blog in terms of likes, comments, shares and subscribers. I’ll continue to commit more time to see this happen, to reach anyone and everyone I can, not just through WordPress but in my every day life, and with the eventual publication of Metanoia. I constantly wonder if there are people out there with similar thoughts and feelings. I know there are but it seems impossible to reach them. The articles and posts that get shared the most are the short, shallow, and relatable items on the internet. These things are not bad, but are not the full extent of what can be thought, felt and dreamt by the mind.

In order to find like minds, or for people who need to read these thoughts and words for whatever reason in their life, I need the help of my readers to share this on whatever outlet is comfortable to them. If you think you know a person who would benefit from one of my posts, or find them interesting, send it to them. If you like any concept that I’ve written about, turn it into your own content for your blog and mention me. What are some experiences that you’ve had on this subject, or what are some insights you’ve come to on your own? I’d genuinely like to know.

That aside, if you are reading this, I love you and thank you.

Featured image by Krystleyez

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New Pages – Playlist for Writers!

For this week’s post, I would like to introduce two new pages that I added to my site. I have a variety of followers that come from several different backgrounds, but many tend to be fellow writers. For this reason, I wish to share something that is an indispensable part of my creative process. I have made a ‘Playlists for Writers’ page with songs that have been particularly helpful for me, and might be beneficial to you, whether it’s for writing or any other kind of creative work. Here is an example of a playlist that you can find on my page:

I’ve also added a page for anyone who would like to support me and my writing. There you can find a banner to sign up for Inboxdollars, an easy way to make some cash online. There is also a link to Thrive Market, an online store for those who want organic food at a price that falls within their budget. Signing up through either of these links will help to feed me, and to raise money for the illustrations that I need professionally done for my novel.

This might be the last post for a while, as I have a wedding and road trip planned for next week. I hope everyone has a lovely week and fulfilling weekend!

 

 

 

Who Are We?

   I cleaned out from under my bed today. Everything under there was from elementary school (somehow, at age 22). It seems as though I was quick to throw away middle school, but not so much my elementary years. I can recall having a fulfilling 5th grade. I had 3 best friends, one of which was in my class. Even though life got strange at times, I felt capable despite insecurities and obstacles. Right after that, all three friends moved, my muse died (I was a creative kid), and I distinctly remember going into every department store and finding nothing that would fit me, a metaphor for the times.

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I was a better artist at 10 than I am now apparently.

   Despite having a fond recollection, I look back and I feel detached from this person. I cannot connect to the photos or memories, although they are still strong and clear in my mind. I’ve never been one to dwell on the past, “It distracts from the now” as Edna from The Incredibles famously stated.

   Several weeks before this mass removal of childhood paraphernalia, I found myself dwelling on the little known fact that all the atoms in our body are recycled every 7 years or so. It was a topic I naturally gravitated towards given my recent checkpoint in life. We are not made up of the same composition we had when we were born. Everything was replaced, and deposited somewhere to maintain a general form. In this sense, we do not have the same exact makeup when we were seven either, or during our favorite adolescent memories compared to now. Even the expression of our DNA can alter slightly when environmental cues turn certain genes on and off  (This is called epigenetics in science. In a spiritual sense of ascension, it is called DNA activation).

   For me, there is this disconnect, and relation existing simultaneously. It’s as if it is already a past life, with a line of consciousness connecting all physical states of being, holding them together. Coincidentally, my Uncle sent me a quote from James Gleick he thought I’d like that pertains to all of this. It states “Mind must be a sort of dynamical pattern, not so much founded in a neurological substrate as floating above it, independent of it.”

Perhaps past lives are like that when we die and finally remember what we are. Although these past character states used to be our most recent self at one point, we moved on and no longer associate it with our compete identity. Perhaps our identity is more of what we are now and where we are going than what has happened to us and what we previously experienced.

Who are we, or perhaps, what are we? Just a thought…

Is It Too Early for a Cover Reveal?

   In times when I cannot devote all of my attention to writing, my mind still likes to dream and wander through my creations. Recently I have attempted to take some of these visuals out of my mind and make them real.

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   This painting is the image that will be on the cover of my work. Of course, when it is ready to be brought into the public, someone who is much more capable will create the image and format it, but I couldn’t ignore the urge to try and extract it from my mind and bring it to life. This painting illustrates the idea of souls condensing and gathering like a cloud, and its natural tendency to precipitate back into life, back into the various experiences among the cosmos. As the story shows, the cycle continues, as does the ascension of the soul in this process.

   I’ve also recently created a Facebook page, which I am grateful for having, as I’ve been able to take a more spiritual approach to it that I felt I could not do on WordPress given the audience, and the kind of posts I wanted to write here. If this is something you might be interested in, please like and share: https://www.facebook.com/Metanoiasouls/  

The Landscape of Metanoia

I know the expression “old soul” gets thrown around a lot to explain those who seem wise beyond their years, but I don’t quite see it this way. For one thing, it has the connotation that these people are better than others, more advanced. This isn’t true and simply doesn’t feel right. Just as our human age is an illusion brought on by the sensation of time, I do not believe that our souls are any older or younger than one another, but that we are all in fact the same age.

In the same way that all the matter we see had a beginning, with its atoms taking shape and dissolving back into its rudimentary state, consciousness also had its spark of life that unleashed everything all at once. So what creates such a dichotomy between ignorance and wisdom amongst ourselves? How are the two able to exist simultaneously?

In order to explain this, I am brought to the landscape of Metanoia (for more information regarding this word, visit my About page). Just as the Earth has its peaks and valleys, there are highs and lows through this medium of experience that I am writing about.

As we began to travel, we all went separate ways. With different circumstances to face, ranging from troughs and valleys covered in vegetation, to mountain heights towering over all that is, a person is altered and conditioned. In some of these places, you might not be able to see the sky above, where your world is contained and dense. Like tunnel vision, all you can see is what’s immediately in front of you. In this sort of environment, the feeling that there is only what you see becomes very convincing. Naturally, the illusion begins to make more and more sense, and anything else a far off reality. When we no longer think that there is more, we get lost and prohibit ourselves from experiencing anything further. Generations upon generations of this can birth a sort of limitless ignorance that is almost impossible to escape. This is how false evils are created and perpetuated, delusions are free to run rampant, and people stumble farther and farther away from the truth they once knew.

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But with the landscape of Metanoia being as dynamic as it is, this is thankfully not how it is for every soul. Fields reveal a horizon that lead to somewhere, and a sky that offers the possibility of infinity. Those who find themselves in the ocean can see this sky as well, but must constantly tread water. Some struggle up onto hill tops and mountain treks, where the understanding of what everything is comes with complete clarity. There are brave souls, whom I admire the most and associate most heavily with, who are trapped under a dense vegetation, deciding to climb the tallest trees in order to get a better view, driven by the desire to orient themselves.

With the diversity of the landscape comes the diversity of experiences. What is gained is a unique mark, the fingerprint of the soul, and we are lucky for this. With diversity you can be sure that there’s an individual, or perspective unique to your situation, and thus has the means for you to get to where you need to go. It is as if you came upon a stranger who has traversed the section of land ahead, and can give you advice, or even a map. You can also do the same for others along your travels. This is why it is important to have such diversity and to understand that there is no one route, or one truth. This cannot be with the condition of the landscape. This is why we must embrace our differences, as long as it doesn’t hinder the journey of others, and encourages the trek we have ahead. It is both varying and unified, more connected than separate. While the paths intersect in some places, and diverge in others, they’re all headed towards the same thing.

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Photos credited to Daniel Ranger and Kathryn Beals 

I’m Back!

I have neglected this blog for the last few months as a chapter of my life was coming to a close, and a new one was opening. However, I have not been inactive during this time. Over the course of three months, I’ve managed to clean out my room in heaps (still an ongoing process) to make room for new changes. Of course, this warranted some redecorating.

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I’ve organized a writing meetup in my community, which is growing and evolving by the day. With this has come a new Facebook Page and personal writing goals.

   Ive taken upon myself to expand my knowledge of spiritual subjects and our reality through some carefully selected reading material:

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Lastly, even though this seems like its not the right time to start a new hobby with my overwhelming expanse of interests, I’ve taken up painting.

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All this while the beach beckons, and family members would like to see my face eventually.

I have neglected Metanoia in lieu of all these distractions, as well as finally being able to relax after a busy semester. Coming back to the routine of writing posts has been on my mind for the past few weeks, but I didn’t want to begin without a plan of action. I needed enough ideas and material to initiate another wave of thoughts worth sharing so that Metanoia wont fall into a pit of abandonment like many others in the wake of life’s obligations and distractions. I think much of it simply has to do with getting into the habit of pulling useful things out of apparent monotony. Like many bloggers, I am guilty of missing important ideas or messages that every day life has to offer. Why aren’t I mentioning the small breakthroughs I have during writing gatherings? Why aren’t I sharing insights from my reading or conversations with friends and family? I believe that adopting this awakened behavior is not only important for this forum, but for the sake of living. We’re constantly moving, only thinking about tomorrow, failing to reflect and allow lessons that come through – either big or small – to take form.

Some ideas that I’m planing on posting in the future include:

1. The Landscape of Metanoia

2. What is nothing?

3. Sweet Potato Egg Boat: A Review (a nice break from these sometimes intense topics)

4. Metanoia playlist

5. Must-haves for the spiritual pioneer

I urge anyone reading this to give me any suggestions on what they’d like to read on a blog like mine based on their interests, or things they wish they saw more of. I welcome you to comment below or send me an email:

numerologyfiend@gmx.com

I hope you all have a lovely week!

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Created to Create

“Imagination is more powerful than knowledge”

-Albert Einstein

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In my own personal quest of understanding, I am encountering more and more often the idea of how our thoughts manifest into physical reality, and how we were created to create. This is true, and not necessarily on some mystical level that lacks rationality. We see it every day with our technologies. Our entire civilization is built on a foundation of things that were once ideas. It all had to be conceived first. Imagination is more important than knowledge because imagination manifests knowledge.

Think of a brick layer, whose tools, bricks and cement would represent knowledge, the facts that are at hand. These materials mean nothing if you don’t know what to do with them, just as facts are meaningless without a way to postulate scenarios. (I like this analogy because it also hints at the importance of the materials to build what we conceive, the role that knowledge plays in this scheme). Imagination gives knowledge shape, and therefore meaning.

All this, and yet our public schools are keen on teaching children how to think, and that the facts listed on a lecture slide in college is what will determine whether you are a functioning citizen. Perhaps this approach does make you a functioning citizen, but not in the way that is unique to yourself, not in a way that incorporates your own full potential.

I am writing this as a frustrated participant of this system. As a junior in college, I’m tired of the perpetual quest of trying to emulate what my external environment wants out of me, rather than simply drawing upon what I already know, working with what comes naturally, and applying it to our society in the most constructive way possible. I am weary of the idea that nothing is more important than making yourself into something that someone else wants.

So while we live in a civilization of such impressive creations, how is creating not given more weight in our external and internal lives? I suppose there could be a few answers to this, one major reason being money and greed. Our creations have been centric to this facet, virtually becoming a God of sorts, as it seems to be the reason we do anything today. We have to. Some of us create to earn a living, so we can eat food, to live and make more money, and so on. And so it is not about creating to create, but creating something that fits the status quo. This methodology ultimately leaks into the education system and the vicious cycle continues.

I understand that there is a reason why things are the way they are. I understand there are ideals that are simply not ready for our way of life, and that we have a long way to go towards a system that is morally sound and embraces humanity, rather than one that oppresses and controls it. However, I think there is still something we can take from these ideals, and although I’m not certain of how, I believe there are small ways to effect change.

I think it starts with waking up and realizing the distinction between our life’s purpose and our means of survival, because as humans, these things are completely separate and unrelated. It surprises me every day just how many people have forgotten that we have free will, and that we have a choice despite the constraints of our environment (which ironically, could potentially be eliminated with the realization of this fact). In many ways, we are a cog in the wheel. But I don’t believe we were meant to be cogs for this particular wheel, which is of control and prohibition. You have a choice to be what you want to be. To live your life like a song, a painting, poem, or an interesting novel, whatever suites your soul. And when you do this, something beautiful happens. Not just for yourself, but for those witnessing the change around you, who can then begin to believe that they too have this power, and they too can live life with greater purpose.

Our creations will change us, and how this happens is solely dependent on what we think is worthy of creation, either that of money or that of who we truly are at the core. This translates to the choice to keep living like we are living, or to live as we naturally came: created to create.

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 “When I say be creative, I don’t mean that you should all go become great painters and great poets. I simply mean let your life be a painting, let your life be a poem”

 -Osho