In light of my previous post and the pending arrival of Valentines Day, I wanted to go into more detail about alternative ways we can incorporate love into our lives, without the help of others.
I’ve already mentioned how relying on those around us for love can be problematic. Chances are, at one time or another, you were either alone, or surrounded by people who weren’t providing the feeling of connectedness that you craved or needed. But there are many other ways to make life just as fulfilling without another’s assistance, which we sometimes forget with the hype of romantics and popularity.
This might already be obvious for fellow bloggers, who are already creating frequently and sharing it with the world. Its great to take pride in your writing and enjoy reaching out to others who were otherwise unreachable. However, it is still worth mentioning, especially with the multitude of opportunities out there that are often forgotten.
Buy a paint set, or a sketch book. Reacquaint yourself with the high tech camera you got for christmas but were too busy to use. Do some gardening. Bake a cake. If you’re like me, you have numerous recipes for dinners and deserts piling up and haven’t yet had the opportunity to try out.
I could go on…
You’d be surprised how much our creations give back to us in terms of happiness, knowledge, learning, overall well being, and ultimately love.
2. Sift through the impersonal and hold onto sentiment.
Whether or not it is solely due to technology (as it is at least part of the issue) I think it is safe to say that we hold a certain amount of detachment with one another in our society. The internet seems to do a great job at keep us from losing touch with everyone, or anyone, but also impedes our ability to make deep connections. Find a pen pal, a hand written letter has a vintage quality in the midst of our digitized existence.
Make dinner instead of eating out one night, and invite someone over if you don’t live with anyone. Host a movie marathon. Host a wine and cheese party. If you’re an animal lover, host a dog play date with your fellow animal lovers. If you’ve found yourself making less and less plans lately, get away from the computer screen (after you’re done reading this) and make time for it.
Also, don’t wait for someone to buy you flowers, take you out for dinner, or get you that gift you always wanted. Treat yourself from time to time, which leads to my next point…
3. Reward yourself
Whats the point of completing a to do list if theres no feeling of gratification afterward? Do this in what ever way works for your lifestyle. Even if the reward is small, it is better than ending the day with something other than the mere completion of a task.
4. If something makes you happy, even if its minimal, give it your attention and make room for it. Find beauty in simple things.
This can pertain to your physical environment, an activity, or really anything involving your emotional/mental well being. Perhaps it means having a collection of sea glass, hanging a tapestry, coffee in the morning, taking a walk to the ocean at least once a week. It will be different for everyone.
Do not let small pleasures slip through the giant cracks of your expectations.
There is a lot more to enjoy and to cherish than we realize. Its just a matter of noticing it.
5. If something is toxic to you, whether it be a person, a place or thing, don’t grant it your attention.
Life is too short to spend energy on something that will only bring you down and set you back from your purpose, which is fundamentally to be yourself (whatever that may be in your case), and make this world a better one. To do this, you must first become skillful at recognizing a toxic situation. I have a knack for this, but I realize that its not always easy for others. If it were, many of us would not end up in the circumstances we’ve been in or are in now. Once you are able to recognize whats hurting you, your decisions in eliminating unnecessary negativity will become much more effective.
Romantic love is different and unique, but that doesn’t mean its more valuable than what can be attained from what already surrounds us.